


Flicker

by Greenspoons



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Crisis on Earth-X
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 19:18:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12871263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenspoons/pseuds/Greenspoons
Summary: Martin Stein's final heroic act.





	Flicker

**Author's Note:**

> I have watched that fateful scene more times than any sane person should. And I still cry, every damn time. 
> 
> Dedicated to the two characters who had brought so much heart and humor to this show. That Helen Hunt episode, y'all!

_Grey!_

He clutches at his side, breathing heavily. 

_Grey!_

He feels his vision blurring as he blinks to keep Jax and the hangar around him in focus. 

_Grey!_

He hears the volley of gunshots receding into distant sounds, his ears no longer ringing from the violence that is being unleashed all around. 

He hates this Earth.

He hates this regime of unspeakable evil that has become all that these Earth X-ers have ever known.

He hates to see his friends being sitting ducks to the enemy.

And here he is, helpless like the old man he is, always has been. Without Jax to be his better, stronger half. Without Firestorm to lay waste to this wretched world, together.

Oh, they were unstoppable together.

He ought to have listened. It is better that they had remained fused together and not split up so they could get the temporal gateway turned on quicker than if they remained as a single entity.

He is aware of how pathetic he must look right now. Just lying here on the cold hard floor with blood soaking his clothes.

This is not the end he envisions, nor does this feels like an honorable way for him to go. Every breath he takes hurts, getting more labored with each rise and fall of his chest.

_I must get up and finish the job._

_I will not take a bullet and call it quits._

With supreme effort, he pushes himself up. Only to realize a moment later that it wasn't a good idea. So he gets on his elbow and knees, crawling across the distance that felt more further than it really is. He doesn't allow himself to focus on the fear of getting shot. All he sees and thinks is about making his way over there and doing his part, so he gets on with it.

Amidst the sound of bullets being fired, he thought he hears a sound. Possibly Jefferson, telling him to get down and sit tight until he can make his way over to his side.

But he can't afford to do as he is asked to because he fears time is running out for him and for them. Either way, he doesn't see much of a choice before him and he decides to take the chance.

He grips the desk for balance as he bends over, feeling somewhat triumphant that all he has left to do is reach out... .

 _No! Not now!_ Is all he could think when he feels a bullet tearing into his body and lodges itself in one of his vital organs. _God, please let me do just this one thing._ It hits him that he's never been one who's particularly religious but he figures if God is as benevolent as the religious books make him out to be, then he can grant him one dying wish.

His wizened fingers curl around the level and he yanks at it with a desperate need. There it goes.

Finally, he lets go and slumps back down with a pained grunt.

***

"Not if he's Firestorm," He hears the authority in his Captain's voice. Her fierce, angelic face swims in his vision. 

The response to that is immediate.

"Grey," Then he hears his name and the soothing proximity of the person which he shares a special bond with. "Come on," He could barely make out the younger man holding out his hand to him but he manages to reach out and hold onto Jefferson for dear life. For now.

***

"J-Jeff..Jefferson," he hears the effort that it takes him to call out the name. "I n-n-need to tell you something."

He gets up to walk over to his chair. But all Stein could see was how the spry, youthful Jefferson is now in a bad shape that mirrors his own. He has been weakened significantly and Stein knows what he must do to make it all better.

"Wh--- talk fast because unless you're sedated, Gideon can't do her thing, patch you back up."

"Can't you see that... I'm dying?" He asks needlessly, already knowing what Jefferson would say to him. His mind is weary, his heart is heavy and his body is tired. He doesn't really want for his time on the WAverider to end but he knows it has to.

"Wh-what are you talking about man?" The younger man asks in disbelief, avoiding his question. Jax's hands are a comforting, reassuring presence as it rubs his arm.

"I'm old Jefferson." He states plainly. "And even if I haven't been shot, no one lives forever." As far as facts go, this is the one thing that no mortals could ever deny. Stein feels his mortality creeping up on him and he wants to be the one to beat the Grim Reaper to the afterlife.

"Grey," Jax sighs. "I don't even want to hear you talking like that, man."

"As long as we're connected, I'm nothing more than an anchor around your neck." Somewhere in his heart, he knows one day it will come down to this. It has always been a matter of time. It pains him to admit his frailty and the look of dismay on Jax's face makes him feel like he's the worst person who has ever existed. But the truth is never easy for anyone to say out loud. "Which is why you must help me."

"I don't understand, I-I," he splutters, confusion coloring his words and expression. They should not be talking about this. Yet here they are, discussing the prospect of death like they are talking about the weather.

Stein points at the vial of blue liquid.

"Not Cisco's drug," Jax says, suddenly comprehending where Martin is going with this. He will not stand for this.

“Gideon resynthesized the liquid. She assures me it will free you from my body's biology.” There is a clinical detachment to his voice that sends a sharp surge of anger through the bond.

 _This will not be easy_ , he sighs to himself. But he already knows it wouldn't be, and he doesn't blame Jax for wanting to believe there is another way out of this. For them to both make it out alive.

"And it will free you of mine." He practically shouts now, insisting that this decision isn't the right thing to do. "I'm the only thing that is keeping you alive, man."

"You’re asking me to kill you, Grey," he says loudly, looking back at Stein as if it is the most insane thing he's heard him say. And that's actually saying a lot, considering the countless zany adventures they've been through.

There is no mercy in this. It is wrong, just plain wrong on so many levels that he can’t even begin to name them all.

"I'm asking you to let me die so you may live." He sees the myriad of emotion that flits across Jax's visage and none of it indicates that it would make this any easier for him. Well, to be fair, "Please hand me the vial." He all but begs, pleading with the one person who should know him better than anyone else. He seeks only for his understanding because to seek anything else, anything more from the people which he would hurt in doing this would be cruel.

 _NO._ “No.”

“I know—I know you think you're strong enough for both of us. But unless I do this, we'll both die.” He tries to get through Jax’s stubbornness.

Jax face contorts with anguish and he looks like a child now, instead of the strong young man that he is. "Then we both die! I don't—“ Martin cuts him off. He knows Jax means well but it is unreasonable, childish, selfish and idiotic.

 _The hell is wrong with you, Grey!_ Jax all but screams at him through their bond.

"But now it's time for you to let me go," he says gently, doing his best to ignore the pain that is radiating off Jax in their shared headspace.

“No, I'm not ready for you to go.” Jax shakes his head, and the resignation at that admission breaks his heart.

"I'm not either," he admits but his resolve is still strong.

He holds onto Jax for understanding and support as Jax holds him tightly around his arms as if it would make his condition better. "But when you think about it, compared to the cosmos, one's life is but the blink of an eye.”

Despite what Martin is asking him to do, he lets out an involuntary chuckle. “You’re gonna lecture me on astrophysics right now?"

"Grey, please don't do this to me," This time, his eyes become hot with unshed tears and made his throat seize with emotion. "I can’t do this," he repeats lamely, clamping his eyes shut to hold back the tears.

"You once told me...That I was like your father and I said you were my son.” Tears prick his eyes but he keeps at it. He has to be strong for the both of them. For Jefferson’s sake, if not his own. "How could a father do anything less?"

In spite of how much he knows this will only serve to hurt Jefferson, his loved ones and the rest of team, he doesn't see another way out of this.

_This is what fathers do._

“Grey, please. Please,” He pulls away, trying to physically distance himself from what was about to happen and to brace himself for what's coming. But as much as he vehemently opposes the idea of facilitating Martin's death, he knows that it is what he has to do. He owes his partner as much. Jax could feel how much Martin desires this end and it spreads across the entirety of his being. This is the first time that their bond feels so overwhelmed by the older man's thoughts, desires, and emotions that to not grant him his last wish would be unconscionable and unforgivable. He would never be able to live with himself if he can't grant the man who has become so much like family this one thing.

Unwillingly he makes his way over to the low table, clutching the vial with both hands as if in a prayer. He wants to hold on. To this, to Martin. For as long as it takes for him to know that he would never let him die. Not on his watch. Not ever. Not if he has a choice in this.

He takes a deep fortifying breath and steps towards him, letting Martin pluck it out of his hands. He doesn't want to be a party to this, any more than he already is.

"Thank you, Jefferson." His hand closes around the vial in grateful relief.

"Grey— no," He tries again, in a last-ditch effort to make Martin see even the slightest bit of sense. “Don’t.” He looks away.

He turns the cap and empties it into his mouth. If he can wish to die, then surely he could make peace with the knowledge that everyone might hate him for choosing to die.

“Stay with me, please.” There is nothing left for them to do. So he asks for Jefferson to promise that he will sit with him until he breathes his last. “I'd prefer not to be alone.”

“Yeah,” he says with a reluctant smile. There is no way in hell that Jax would leave his side and Martin should know that as well. They were much too close with each other than anybody on the whole damn ship. Heck, maybe even in the whole goddamn universe.

"Please… tell Clarissa and Lily I love them.” Their eyes meet behind a thin film of tears.

"I promise." He nods and they hold onto each other.

"Thank you, Jefferson, for the adventure of a lifetime." Jax feels the relief as it washes over him and knows it wasn't his but Martin's. He senses the soft touch of a smile as it caresses their bond "I hope your life is long and full of love. Just as mine has been,"He is aware of what he has asked and all he wants now is for Jax to know that no words could ever express how glad he is.

Or how much he cherishes their bond.

If there's a life beyond death, a part of Jax will always be with him. 

Jax feels all of it through the bond. They've never needed words, not really.

He thinks on everything they've been through, and the memories flash across his mind's eye eliciting a barrage of bittersweet feels. For the both of them.

_You'll live on in me. I'll never forget you, Grey._

They'll miss each other very much, and at this, melancholy tug at their heartstrings.

_I'll eat all the grapefruits you love so much until you gotta come down from heaven to ask me to keep some for you._

And just like that, he feels their psychic link severing. A part of him must have died with Martin, he thinks.

Then he lets the tears fall freely and sobs into the shoulder of a dead man. His hands are white-knuckled around the cold, lifeless hands. Maybe if he holds onto him hard enough, Martin could see how stupid this decision of his is and decides to return.

He holds the grieving wife and daughter in his arms when he turns up on their doorstep to deliver the news.

Whatever happens next, Jax knows that he will never be alone, and neither will they. They are family now, not by blood but by circumstance.

_And sons do what they do, take care of the family._


End file.
